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Fuck you , Dad . “You’re the one ruining this fuckin’ family , it’s all your fault . If it weren’t for you & all the stupid shit you did , we would all be happy .” You know what , I’m not staying here . I’ll make it damn easy for you , alright? I’ll be gone by the end of the week , don’t worry . I don’t know where I’m finna go , but I won’t be in your way anymore . I’ll let you be happy , no worries . I’m done trying to make you guys proud . Nothing I do ever seems to be good enough for you anyways , I’m so boo off being here . That really pushed me to the point where I’m not giving a fuck . Sorry for messing up your lives family . You won’t be seeing me anymore , I got you .
Despite everything that’s happening with my parents & I , I’m happy . My friends have a big part in this , seeing how much they all care & how they hit me up to see if I’m okay or need some company really means a lot . So thank you to those who have been making that effort to check on me <3 I love my girls . Plus , my brother , Oscar , has been a big help too . He’s been comforting me & making sure I’m okay , I cried last night & he was just holding me <3 He’s really the best big brother , although we fight & I complain about how horrible he is , he’s really not haha . &Lastly , my rude ass nigga , aha he’s been doing nothing but making me smile , sweet talking me , making sure I’m not crying or being mad . He knows the situation & he’s been keeping me up , a lot . I’m very thankful for my friends , brother , & my baby . (:
Me: Babe , you know what I noticed? When we first began to talk , you never asked me if I had a boyfriend or if I was talking to anyone . Why was that? What if i was talking to someone?
Babe: Cause I wasn’t worried about you having a nigga , the moment I walked into that door & saw you , I knew I was gonna have you . Maybe I planned on talking to you that night , maybe I got the scoop on you , maybe just maybe I knew we’d be this far into what we have today babe . I wasn’t gonna let another nigga be a problem with me getting with you .
Niggggga had me smiling so gaaahddamn much ((((: Haven’t heard something cute come out his mouth in forever . Today was a really good day .
I’m not the type to put my business out here on the internet & I ain’t doing it cause I want sympathy . Go somewhere with that boobooshit , please . I just really need to vent & I feel like no ones here to listen or to understand me . So , it all started yesterday , it was the last day of school & I told my mom I was finna go to the beach for a bbq & bonfire , I didn’t really go to that .. I went to my nigga’s house & spent the whole day with him , it was perfect , just him & I , smoking , eating , playing video games & other stuff . Baha anyways , I got scooped up by my homegirl & we were just chillin’ . I got home before 10 cause that’s when my mom told me , I went into my parents room & my mom was talkin’ all this mess on how she hadn’t heard from my brother all day blablabla . I left her room & went to mine , put my shit down & went pee , I come out the damn bathroom with my mom sitting on my bed with my birth control -.- Surprise surprise she went through my bag , once again . My dad knew I was high af’ still , they were just yelling at me & they took my phone -.—- Ugh . This morning I talked to my mom & she was callin’ me a slut , a disappointment , a bad daughter , and some more shit . It doesn’t really phase me hah the only reason I’m trippin’ is cause with me being grounded , it’s finna be 10x harder seeing my nigga.. He leaves in 3 weeks & I can’t waste any day . It’s just honestly about to get really hard.. Keeping in contact without a phone . Shit , if I could have it my way , I wish my parents would just beat tf out of me & let me be , no grounding or anything , just a good whoopin’ . I’m not planning on staying here though , I’ma ask my homegirl if I could live with her till I get my shit together & let my parents calm the hell down . I don’t know why parents make such a big deal about sex , it’s finna happen either way at some point in life . At least I’m being safe , shit . I don’t even know what to say or do , I just feel like crying , a lot . But I know I won’t let myself .. Sigh /;
Being somewhere filled with people , I can still feel alone . I don’t know why , but I feel so lonely , all the time . I feel like I really don’t have a legitimate group of friends , I feel like I only 3 females that ride for me , and what sucks about that is , 2 of them are grounded 24/7 & the other is busy with school & her boyfriend . I don’t get hit up to go kick it , or to go to this party & that party . Yeah i go out , but usually because i hit people first . It’s never the other way around . I don’t know , maybe i’m just being a butt hurt baby , but it sucks to see pictures , people you wanna be around tweeting or posting up shit on face book how they’re out or they had a great day with so & so . I just want to be a part of something , feel me ? I don’t like being around people my age , they’re immature , loud , think they’re some big bold people , they think there hard , they have drama , that’s just not me . That’s why i LOVE being around people older then me , they’re hella easy going & just have good times . I think I don’t get hit up though because they think im young & can’t hang or some shit -.— But , I’ve very well showed i can hang with the big boys . I’m not loud , or obnoxious , i kick back . Maybe i’m over thinking this ? Iono .]:
The reason I like black guys , it’s not all because of there looks . I like their personality A LOT , they’re aggressive , they take control , they fight back , i feel safe with one , protected , they’re not corny , they’re hella funny , athletic , they’re not afraid to speak their mind , they’re not soft or on some pussy type shit , they’re smart , although some don’t show it . I just love it . Asians are corny af , I don’t even fucks with it . Mexicans .. 80% of them got more then 1 girl , they talk smoothly & get away with a lot . I’m not saying there aren’t black dudes out there that are like that , but most aren’t . Blacks put it down , on some real shit . That’s WHHHHYY i fucks with them , i’m not racist , i have been with asians , mexicans , and i even liked white guys at one point , but i’m strictly feeling black dudes 100% of the time .
It’s been about three day’s without my phone </3 I miss them , the two mains that I talk to almost about every single freaking day. I vent to the both of them, I swear..I need my phone! I miss my baby and babygirl , dude. They hella make me laugh and smile, I’m missing them a lot :[ pooop..I’m gonna write a long blog about both later. I’m busy cleaning right now. I’m home alone , babysitting. Lateee
<33 At least a pre-paid phone that YOU can use /:
1 note (via youkpaulina)
Sigh.. I was hella happy today at school , laughing at everything , just not giving a fuck about anything . But , I get home & see that those videos are still up.. I’ve never hated anyone , I don’t hate at all . This guy though .. That shits hella fucked up . I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life , I was drunk .. People make mistakes , i feel as if im just the talk of the school & it fuckin’ sucks . Yeah let people talk , but you guys aren’t in my situation . I don’t know what i can do , i don’t have that nigga’s password , email , nothing .. It’s all on him if he wants to take them off . I’m so angry at him , watch though , ima catch that nigga slippin’ .. How he looks is imprinted into my head , ima rush that bitch right quick when i see him .. He doesn’t wanna listen , so i gotta teach him a lesson . Fucking douche bag of a cunt -.— Ughh .
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